I Will Grow, I Will Bear fruit ... Figs (First Chapter)

ONE

I am twenty one. I am a homosexual. I like the afternoon sun.

My Apartment is in the outskirts of town. Near the wharf. In a place that is the realm of seashells, the realm of corals, adjacent to the eternal sorrow of the turtles.

My mother lives in the waters. In the remains of an old ship. On a bed of seaweed. Her hair blazes like a silver crown above her head. My mother is always naked. She visits me every now and then. At my apartment in the outskirts of town.

She first crosses the wharf. She floats in the scattered scents of the bazaar. Then she pays a visit to the crowd of fishermen in the seaside cafés. Among their wares, a hidden pearl. And she leaves them and heads for my bed. Of course, along this entire route, she is no less naked.

Poker; that is what I call him. He is my only friend. We met during military training. He is twenty-one. He likes the afternoon sun and he is not a homosexual.

I consider this a threat. I have never talked to anyone about my sexual inclination. In fact, I hide it. Even from my few sexual partners. With them, I pretend it is my first such experience.

My sexual partners are night prowlers. Strangers. Poker is not a night prowler. Poker is not a stranger. And this is chipping away at me from the inside!

Payam Feili

Translated from the Persian by Sara Khalili

Payam Feili

Payam Feili was born in 1985 in Kermanshah, a city in western Iran which was a war front during the eight-year Iran-Iraq war. He began writing poetry when he was in his early teens. His first book, The Sun’s Platform, was published when he was nineteen. The book was subject to heavy censorship by the Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance and his works have since then been banned from publication.

In 2006 Payam’s first novel, Tower and Pond, and a short-story collection titled Crimson Emptiness and Talking Waters were published in Persian by e-publisher Lulu in the United States. I Will Grow, I Will Bear Fruit . . . Figs was published by Gardoon Publishers in Germany. His other works include the novel Son of the Cloudy Years and a collection of poems titledHasanak, both published outside Iran.